For those of us who once harbored the dream of making our livings onstage, literally or metaphorically returning home can be a difficult adjustment for the ones of us that didn’t make the cut.
Let’s not kid ourselves, the odds were against us from the start. We’re talking about an industry that sets itself apart from most other vocations on this planet simply by its very nature. You’ll seldom see a lawyer get cut from a job interview simply because they don’t have the right attorney “look” (though wearing a clown costume to the bar exam might be unadvised). You’ll rarely come across a Vascular Surgeon passing out resumes on the street inviting folks to come to his/her showcase this weekend, where he’ll be operating on Mrs. Holmes’ malignant brain tumor. And let’s not forget that this is one of the few vocations out there that is looked upon by the mass populous as a hobby, rather than a career (how many of us have faced the dreaded “So, what do you do?” and, upon being told an actor/actress, are hit with “No, I mean, what do
you REALLY do?”?)
For every one of us that makes it to the “great white way,” there are hundreds who languish and toil for years. Some are all too happy to live that life (God bless you all), but for the rest of us, the decision eventually becomes to return home to the lives we once led. Maybe we’ve rearranged our priorities and feel it’s more important to take on steadier employment for reasons like a reliable paycheck or health insurance, or perhaps the daily audition grind has simply gotten to be too much. I’m painting with a very broad brush, but this is simply the case for some.
This may seem like a prison sentence to many. But I am here to tell you that it is not. Far from it.
In some ways, it can be quite freeing. Like anything else, there are some bumps along the way. But like any period of readjustment, the ends far outweigh the pain of the means. Also, and this is the best part, YOU CAN STILL PERFORM! As you readjust, you just have to watch out for a few pitfalls that can lead to PTSD flashbacks. So, lay down on the couch, listen to your grief
counselor, and let’s get through this together.
WORK – A major reason people reach a certain age and/or breaking point and want to get out of the audition game is a desire for steady employment. Some of us feel a pull towards what sustained us through the auditioning years, such as bartending or waiting tables (again, I’m painting broad), others will bring their skill set to the classroom (don’t give me that “Those who can’t do, teach.” B.S. That sounds highly derogatory and undervalues some of the best mentors I have ever had the pleasure of learning the craft from), even luckier are those who listened to their teachers before pursuing the dream and finished a college degree in another vocation. But, for the rest of us, it becomes necessary to “surrender” to the nine to five grind of the desk job.
Now, before you get an image in your head of sitting in some dark corner, crunching numbers while the theme to Requiem For A Dream underscores your daily life, understand that as soul crushing as this may sound, that there are plenty of jobs like this out there that offer you a chance to use your considerable skills to your advantage. Think of doctor’s offices, hospital
waiting rooms, places where people are normally used to being greeted by people who have all the warmth and compassion of a block of ice. But now, you’ve arrived. You’ve got personality, charisma, dare I say it, HUMOR. Employers want these qualities. Couple this with a desire to go back to school and you could find yourself in an excellent position for years to come, perhaps
even permanently. To say nothing of the fact that it offers you steady work, reliable pay, dependable hours and health insurance (worth its weight in gold, these days.) Plus, as I said above…
YOU CAN STILL PERFORM!! – Yes friends! It’s true! Throughout your readjustment period, never forget the fact that your time onstage does not have to end just because you have made the decision to not consider it a life’s pursuit any longer. Cities and towns across this great land are filled with theaters just looking, nay ACHING for talent such as yours. And don’t you dare be dissuaded by those either in or out of the business who speak the words, or regard the concept of, “Community Theater” as if they’re speaking about the Holocaust. Some of the best experiences, talent, people and fellowship I’ve discovered in the theater world, have been found in and among community theater people and projects. They rehearse mostly at night so that it works with your new-found reliable schedule. Some pay, most don’t. And most importantly, it keeps your talent sharp, and your love for theater and performing alive and well.
THE TONY AWARDS – I include this here because I’ve spoken to a few people, and I myself have been guilty of this, who have trouble watching this yearly gathering of the would be worthy because it dredges up painful memories or “woulda coulda” regrets about our time spent in the “big city.” To this I say, this will pass. Put away your desire to flip your coffee table over whilst screaming “THAT SHOULD BE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!” belay that dry heave when Neil Patrick Harris proclaims, “To those watching at home who imagine themselves here one day. Remember that dreams do come true.” And remember that, while your dream to be receiving nightly standing ovations and signing autographs at stage doors may have been put on hold, or
perhaps even put away entirely, that you can still pursue your passion while living your day to day life.
You may even realize one day, that it’s the best decision you’ve ever made.
-Prof. Harold Hill
When You're An Actor 